Love. The Big Spoiler

When not in love, we behave. We are more self conscious. We connect to people in more self disciplined matter. We have layers of abstracion and we exercise more self restraint. We project oureselves as more sophisticated, more polite and what now. We let the good within us rule.

But slowly, when love takes us over, we start listening to such statements that makes us realise that we have a person who will accept us even when we are we are at our worst. Love spoils us by showing our IDs an scope of acceptance. Deep within our subconscious we start wanting to be accepted in worse forms and avatars than we have always have been.

The bad in us forgets the fear of rejection. The good in us is taken over, and we start getting worse than we have always have been .

" She should accept me the way I am", is what the ID makes us beleive. That is when we turn abusers.

Loving someone should never mean spoiling someone. There should be some limits where we should very clearly lay down the limits of the worse we can take. This is not for our good, but for the good for our loved ones. We should have rules laid out pretty clearly and prett early in the relationship.
If my girlfriend had told me in the begining of the relationship, " I will not accept any yelling. However angry you get I want you to behave.", perhaps i would never have yelled at her. What she told instead is " You can hit me, but not in front of the kids!". And beleive me now I know what limit of the worse in me she can take, I will one day end up doin that even if i myself never want to.

The good and the bad are every where. In a relationship, the bad is controlled by setting limits. By not accepting that bad. By forcing another person to not let that bad take over.